Welcome to Scarlet Thread Sunday, when I throw out a thread of something I’ve learned in the labyrinth of life. Today’s title is exactly what my mother told me growing up.
She said that the usual phrase “take it like a man” needed to be altered when it came to illness. You see, many tough and formidable men sink into the pit of pitiful when they become sick. Whereas, many women–juggling 5 roles and 12 tasks at all times–don’t feel like they can afford to be down, even when they would like to be down.
Now I’m not saying that “men are bad, women are good.” I don’t believe that at all. I think God gave each sex some fabulous traits and a few weaknesses. I just think this happens to be a weakness for plenty of men out there.
And I am not alone. Check out this video that I happened to catch recently:
Now my own husband gets sympathy sickness–as in, whenever I’m sick, he’s sure that he has or is coming down with whatever I have. To be fair, we breathe the same air a lot, and sometimes he does indeed catch my illness. But other times, I think it’s, well, “man-cold.”
Whether this is your experience, or some other, I bet that your partner doesn’t treat illness the same way you do. Maybe they like you to wait on them hand-and-foot. Or perhaps they want to be left alone (me). Maybe they want the bed to themselves, or the living room couch, or every blanket in the house, or a cowbell to call you when they need something.
Whatever it is, it may not to be what you would want. I have a tendency to want my husband to treat me the way my mother did when I was sick: Check on me now and then, otherwise leave me alone, and let me have total control of the TV and computer…oh, and say a few lovey-dovey, you’ll-be-okay, reassuring words.
My husband is not my mother.
When he’s sick, I’m great for maybe 48 hours and then I want to say, “Take it like a woman!”
I am not his mother.
So these things must be negotiated a bit, so you can be there for your loved ones the way they need when they feel bad. Thankfully, my hubby and I are much better at caring for one another during sickness than we were in the first years of our marriage.
Which is good because there may be a day when one of us spends a lot of time caring for the other. There’s no telling what we’ll face in the future.
But I do know this: I’ll take it the way I take it, and he’ll take it the way he takes it. And that’s okay.
Time to check-in on “the writing challenge that knows you have a life.” All ten goals for this round are listed below, but the progress I made this past week appears in red type.
- Read 8 fiction books. Read Curse of the Double Digits by Lynn Kelley and Sweet Spot (ARC) by Laura Drake.
- Read one craft book: Writing Young Adult Fiction for Dummies by Deborah Halverson.
- Visit and comment on ROW80 blogs as a Round 2 sponsor. Done!
- Finish writing GOOD & GUILTY, YA mystery. My previous working title was BREAKING THE COMMANDMENTS, which polled badly with teens I know. So I’m trying out GOOD & GUILTY. Anyway, I added 14,509 words. I’m so close to finishing the first draft!
- Complete first round of edits of GOOD & GUILTY.
- Write one short story.
- Edit two short stories–one needs a final polish, the other a full edit.
- Exercise twice a week. Nursing a knee injury. *sigh*
- Prepare for and attend DFW Conference in May. I started sorting through the schedule for which classes I want to attend, registered for a limited-seating workshop on making an ebook, and ordered updated business cards.
- Prepare for and attend Immersion Master Class with Margie Lawson in June.
How has your week gone? How do you like to be taken care of when you’re sick? How about your partner, your child, or other loved ones in your life?