I’m Throwing an After Party!

I interrupt the regular Friday Fiction programming to make the following important announcement.

Even though I’m an admitted introvert, I love a good party! Fun people, delicious food, cool activities, decorations, even dress-up . . . I’m up for pretty much whatever. However, I’m not usually the party-thrower, and I would like for that to change. In fact, it’s on my 40 After 40 List to host a costume party one of these days. (Wanna come?)

But after reading some great posts from authors Tiffany A. White and Amber West about their Tamberny Awards (they pick Emmy winners!), I had a brilliant, or insane, idea! How about a Tamberny Awards Virtual After Party? This way, I can look like a fabulous hostess while avoiding preparatory housecleaning; hunting down themed plates and napkins; choosing the perfect dress and shoes within my limited budget; catering or, heaven forbid, cooking for umpteen guests; tactfully hustling people out of my house when they have overstayed their welcome; and cleaning up for a several hours and still finding a dried cocktail shrimp underneath the couch when I move it to vacuum two weeks later. Perhaps I’m merely using Tiffany and Amber’s Tamberny Awards as an excuse to say I’ve hosted a party when I’m too lazy to actually do so. For whatever reason, I have volunteered to host a virtual After Party.

I’ll be wearing this:

Well, imagine me in that! Actually, I’ll probably be wearing a robe and slippers with my hair in a ponytail and a Pop Tart and a Coca-Cola in hand . . . but if the party was real, I would look stunning!

Now what does this After Party entail? Thankfully, there is WikiHow that gave me How to Throw an Awesome Hollywood Party tips! These appear to be the necessary components:

Design a Creative Invitation.

You are officially invited!

Have a red carpet ready.

Voila!

Interview VIP attendees.

If you are reading this blog post, you are an attendee. Please answer the following interview questions in the Comment section: Who is the designer of your gown or tuxedo? What do you think of this year’s nominees? Who are you rooting for to win this year?

Provide entertainment.

I thought long and hard about what entertainer should perform at our party. Since, I am three degrees of Kevin Bacon and still want to meet him, I’m going with this:

It’s a really cool song about us fabulous gals. Plus, if the Bacon Brothers perform, we might all get to meet the Closer (Kyra Sedgewick) in person!

Come up with a good name for our awards.

Um, Tamberny Awards – already beautifully named by Amber and Tiffany!

Serve delicious food.

Here’s the buffet spread. Have as much as you’d like!

Since it’s a virtual party, I found the photo at Fake-Foods.com™.Hey, it looks real to me!

Hand out awards.

I’m not handing out awards. But check out the faves that Tiffany and Amber have chosen in their posts:

Welcome to the Tamberny Show

The Continuation of the Tamberny Awards

Take plenty of pics.

The professional photographer called and said that he won’t be arriving on time. Apparently, he got caught up with a band of paparazzi filming Charlie Sheen’s demand of a Tamberny award for his genius performance in Two and a Half Men. You might want to watch your Twitter feed for Charlie’s tidbits of wisdom on why he should get a gold statue and Ashton Krutcher should give him back his job.

But you’re welcome to take pictures of yourself in black tie attire on the red carpet and post them to Twitter with the hashtag #Tambernyparty. We promise to make you feel like you were really there by lambasting your fashion sense like Joan and Melissa Rivers would have.

Seriously, post whatever party stuff you want at #Tambernyparty on Twitter – Sunday evening, Monday, Tuesday, or whenever you get around to it. Just promise not to jump on the stage like Kanye West and demand that someone else deserved the award. That’s just rude, people! Order your dress or tux, rent your bling-bling, and reserve your limo: This is going to be the best awards After Party you’ve ever (virtually) attended!