What Are Female Superheroes Wearing? (And Who Fights Crime in That?!)

I still remember my now-teenage son, back when he was a little kid, asking me about superheroes. He was fascinated with them and loved a great superhero story. However, he looked at one of his action figures, turned up his sweet young face to me, and asked, “Why is Wonder Woman wearing her underwear?”

Good question, kid, I thought. Instead of answering, “Because she was drawn by a man who wanted his superhero to turn him on,” I scanned my brain for an answer that would ring true yet retain his innocence. My answer? “That’s her swimsuit. She was raised on an island surrounded by water, so she went swimming a lot.”

Not bad, eh? Kind of my own superpower to come up with that one on the fly!

But it’s still a good question. Why on earth are female superheros dressed like they’re about to film a sexually-laced hip-hop video instead of fighting crime and pursuing justice?

I’ve long been a fan of superheroes, starting with the classic TV series Batman, in which Adam West and Burt Ward POWed and KAPLATed their way to justice. Then there was Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, the cartoon Justice League (including the Wonder Twins—anyone remember them?), and even the not-so-well-done Shazam! and The Secrets of Isis that aired on Saturday mornings. I’ve seen numerous superhero movies from Christopher Reeve’s Superman to all but the last X-Men to Guardians of the Galaxy (a recent favorite).

As much as I love superheroes, I still don’t understand most of the fashion choices when it comes to women. So when I realized I had a superhero-themed costume party to attend this summer, a fellow attendee and I had this conversation:

Her: How come all the women superheroes have no clothes on? How can you fight crime in a thong…

Me: I’ve wondered that too. Like we’re sitting around and thinking, “Hey, I’m ready to go fight crime. But first I need to put on my strapless top so the criminals will have lots of cleavage to distract them and my breasts will jiggle properly when I’m running. And I need a thong up my butt, because nothing says ‘I’m fearless!’ like a willingness to floss your crack. And stiletto heels, please, because if a woman can’t run, jump, and kick in ridiculously high heels, how can she even bother to call herself a superhero?!”

Wonder Woman lasso
Here’s my lasso of truth! Tell me: Is this costume too revealing?

When I started actually shopping for costume options, I was shocked how many choices were preceded by the word “sexy,” as in Sexy Supergirl, Sexy Spidergirl, Sexy Wonder Woman. Really? We need to add more sexiness to that Amazon princess’s corseted look?

Stop the madness, people! This is no way to dress women in 2015! Or really any century, decade, or year.

No self-respecting crime-fighting woman would wear such get-ups. They are impractical for the physical feats expected of superheroes. They make the female class of superheroes out to be eye candy more than serious justice fighters. They don’t give the right message to young women who can be beautiful and powerful without being overly revealing. (Oh yes, you can, girl!) Moreover, they make emulating them for costume parties require a year-long gym membership and/or several pairs of Spanx.

Yes, there are some exceptions, and I applaud the creators of these more relatable female superheroes. I’d like to see more.

What do you think of the costumes for female superheroes? Who are your favorite female superheroes? How would you design a costume for superpowered crime-fighting?

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “What Are Female Superheroes Wearing? (And Who Fights Crime in That?!)

  1. Oh that has long been a pet peeve of mine as well. Especially since, if I were to purchase the Xena War Princess costume to wear to a party, it would NOT look like that on me. Those small, medium, large categories for costumes are stupid. I’d need like one size for the top and another for the middle and yet another for the bottom. But, I digress. It’s not always about me.

    I can’t tell you how many times my husband has said, while watching Castle, “How can she run in those shoes?” Kate Beckett always wears like 4″ heels while fighting crime and chasing down bad guys and investigating murder. Really? Show me a “real” cop who wears that kind of footwear.

    At lease Angelina Jolie, when she played Laura Croft, wore something a little bit more along the lines of “real” clothes, although they were so skin tight I doubt she’d be able to perform the moves she did in those movies without splitting the seams.

    We need to form some kind of group or committee or something to create a more believable “costume” for today’s crime-fighting women. What say you? Show me what you’ve got. I’d going to suggest something along the lines of pajamas.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    1. Yeah, I don’t really like the clothes for crime-fighting women. Mine would be more like a female Clark Kent–comfy clothes and especially shoes. My favorite super hero wasn’t really a super hero. I liked Samantha from “Bewitched.” I always wanted (and still do) to be able to twitch my nose (0r whatever) and have things get done.

    2. I’ve thought about Castle too. It’s weird, isn’t it? Like all kick-butt heroines must also be ready for a fashion show at any minute.

      Thanks, Patricia!

Comments are closed.