One of my favorite language-focused blog series has been “If They Tweeted,” with posts on quotes from Mark Twain, Ernest Hemingway, Martin Luther King, Jr., and several others. It’s interesting to imagine what some would do with 140 characters or less, if only they’d had access to Twitter.
Some of your moms may already be tweeting, but others have moms who are still getting to know their cell phone and haven’t dipped their toes into the Twittersphere. Still, there are plenty of momisms around, that I believe I can offer what your mom would say if she tweeted. So in honor of Mother’s Day here in the United States — If Your Mom Tweeted.
- Cover your mouth when you cough.
- Whatever you do, don’t touch the toilet seat. #publicbathroomtip
- Don’t make that face, or it will freeze that way.
- Eat your vegetables.
- Your shirt is not a napkin.
- If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?
- Be home by curfew!
- I’m not buying that for you. Put it back.
- Do your homework.
- You will not talk back to me that way.
- Don’t make me come in there.
- If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
- Of course I have eyes in the back of my head.
- That thing you lost? It’s right where you left it.
- All this gray hair? That’s from raising you.
- Go ask your dad.
- Say please and thank you.
- Would it kill you to get along with your [brother/sister] for just one day?
- How many times do I have to say something before you hear me?
- You are not going out dressed like that.
- No one ever said life would be fair.
- Come here and let me give you a hug.
- You can do it. I believe in you.
- If I had a choice? Yes, I’d do it all over again.
- I love you . . . more than you can imagine.
Back atcha, Mom!
I’ll be celebrating with my family by giving my own momisms and avoiding all cooking. While I’m doing that, here’s my weekly report for A Round of Words in 80 Days.
1. Read 12 books. Read After the Scandal by Elizabeth Essex (historical romance). Her books are so well-written! 5 of 12 knocked out.
2. Finish editing SHARING HUNTER, a young adult contemporary novel. See the next goal, because improving my short stories has been keeping me from editing the novel like I should. But sometimes (sigh), you have to take one project at a time. Nope.
3. Edit one short story to publication quality. Editing that same short story I was working on last week. I thought I was done, but there were still problems. It’s been a frustrating process to figure out how to rework this story, but I honestly see it getting better every time. I think I’ve finally nailed down the bones and muscles of it, so I’m going to set it aside for a while. Three chapters rewritten.
4. Publish and promote two short stories. I decided to take Gwen Hernandez’s newest Scrivener course on compiling (I’ve highly recommended her general Scrivener course before) and started that last week. Based on her excellent lessons, I reworked some compiling options for my upcoming short story, My Sister’s Demon, so the ebook will be well-formatted for readers. Progress.
5. Stay on top of ROW80 sponsor duties. Visited another 10 blogs this week. We have some new participants! Done!
What momisms do you remember from childhood, or that have come out of your own mouth? And how was your week?