The Twelve Days of Writer Christmas

Welcome to Amazing Words Wednesday, the day we enter the labyrinth of language and see what we can discover.

A couple of years ago, I translated some Christmas carol lyrics by updating them to today’s vernacular. And last year, I treated my writer friends to my own version of “Santa Baby.” This year, I’ve got another Christmas song in my head. It’s quite possibly the oddest traditional carol in our Christmas playlist: “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

Partridge in a pear tree
Partridge in a Pear Tree
Pic credit: Microsoft Word Clip Art

Why is it so odd?

Well, when’s the last time you opened up a present from under the tree and two turtledoves flew out? Or had six geese a-laying for your yuletide? And don’t even get me started on the ten lords a-leaping!

As a holiday wish to my fellow writers, and anyone else who’s tuning in (good to see you!), I decided to craft an updated, writer’s version of the “Twelve Days of Christmas.” But I need your help!

I’m stumped on the ninth day of Christmas. So give me your ideas (remembering the rhythm of the tune, of course). As you read, remember that things get better the closer you get to Christmas.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A long weekend writing retreat

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Two critique partners and a long weekend writing retreat

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Three contest wins, two critique partners, and a long weekend writing retreat

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Four agent offers, three contest wins, two critique partners, and a long weekend writing retreat

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A five-book contract! Four agent offers, three contest wins, two critique partners, and a long weekend writing retreat

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Six-figure sales, a five-book contract! Four agent offers, three contest wins, two critique partners, and a long weekend writing retreat

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Seven conference invites, six-figure sales, a five-book contract! Four agent offers, three contest wins, two critique partners, and a long weekend writing retreat

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Eight interviews, seven conference invites, six-figure sales, a five-book contract! Four agent offers, three contest wins, two critique partners, and a long weekend writing retreat

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Nine ______________, eight interviews, seven conference invites, six-figure sales, a five-book contract! Four agent offers, three contest wins, two critique partners, and a long weekend writing retreat

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Ten book signings, nine _____________, eight interviews, seven conference invites, six-figure sales, a five-book contract! Four agent offers, three contest wins, two critique partners, and a long weekend writing retreat

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Eleven glowing reviews, ten book signings, nine _____________, eight interviews, seven conference invites, six-figure sales, a five-book contract! Four agent offers, three contest wins, two critique partners, and a long weekend writing retreat

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Twelve bestsellers, eleven glowing reviews, ten book signings, nine _____________, eight interviews, seven conference invites, six-figure sales, a five-book contract! Four agent offers, three contest wins, two critique partners, and a long weekend writing retreat

I don’t know what’s really on your Christmas wish list this year. But I hope it’s something better than a partridge in a pear tree.

Have a lovely holiday season!

Which day is your favorite of the original Twelve Days of Christmas? And what’s your idea for my ninth day of Christmas

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22 thoughts on “The Twelve Days of Writer Christmas

  1. Well, I can’t figure out exactly how to word it so it fits with the music, but perhaps something along the lines of translations into 9 different languages? That would be pretty cool; to have your book available in 9 different languages around the world.

    That’s all I’ve got. Cute idea.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    1. As Jenny pointed out, “foreign offers” sounds like inappropriate propositions from creepy European men or something. (No offense to Europe. At all.) I think the new version is “foreign contracts.” But I’d sign a contract for a maid tomorrow if I could! LOL.

  2. Have a great Christmas and holiday season!

    Nice rewrite of this famous song. Perfect for a writer! How about “nine movie screenplays” or “nine movie contracts”?

  3. Wow, that would be a Christmas to remember for sure! Love your songs, Julie! I like the above idea about movie screenplays or you could do something about foreign rights – nine other print languages! Good luck!

  4. How about 9 book auctions? or nine publishers bidding? Of course, for myself I’d just like to finish the ***rewrite! By the way, I’m sharing this with my true love. Maybe he’ll be inspired to follow suit?! LOL

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