Welcome to Amazing Words Wednesday, the day we enter the labyrinth of language and see what we can find.
Here in the United States, this is also the day before Thanksgiving — a holiday dedicated to family and friends, gratitude, and a whole lotta turkey and other goodies on our table. From time to time, I gather famous quotes of 140 characters or less and share my favorites, such as If Twain Tweeted and If Hitchcock Tweeted and If Wilde Tweeted. But in honor of this holiday, let’s talk turkey.
If turkeys tweeted, what would they say? Here are my Top 10 (gathered, of course, from highly reputable turkeys themselves):
10. Anyone know a good plastic surgeon to fix this turkey neck? I want to look good for #Thanksgiving.
9. Forget this turkey. If your family’s coming for #Thanksgiving, you need Wild Turkey.
Wild Turkey Bourbon was thus named in 1940 by a Kentucky distillery executive on a wild turkey hunting trip.
8. Slaughter me, baste me, roast me, taste me! #turkeyslastwords
According to the United States Department of Agriculture, more than 22.5 million turkeys are expected to be eaten this holiday.
7. Listen to your mom: No more shooting the bird! #savetheturkeys
The National Wild Turkey Federation (NWTF) provides hunting tips and tactics for both beginner and experienced turkey hunters.
6. Does this glaze make me look fat? #turkeytime
“That’s the ultimate goal of most turkey recipes: to create a great skin and stuffing to hide the fact that turkey meat, in its cooked state, is dry and flavorless. Does it have to be that way? No. We just have to focus on what the turkey is and what the turkey needs.” – Alton Brown, host of Food Network’s Good Eats (from BrainyQuote)
5. Eat Mor Chickin. Hey, the slogan worked for those Chick-Fil-A cows! #lessturkeymorechicken
4. Turducken? Really? As if sharing the misery makes it better? #sorryducks
Turducken is a dish made by stuffing a deboned chicken into a deboned duck and then a deboned turkey. It’s like ordering the meat lovers’ special for Thanksgiving.
3. Presidential pardon, please? #longliveturkeys
For the last 24 years, a U.S. president has pardoned one turkey each year from its otherwise certain execution and preparation for the White House Thanksgiving dinner.
2. What a #Thanksgiving! I’m stuffed. Literally.
Regardless of what some dictionaries now say about the word “literally,” we humans are only symbolically stuffed after a big meal at the Thanksgiving table. But remember to leave room for dessert!
1. Gobble, gobble. #turkeysrule
Hey, what did you expect?
Enjoy the turkey and all the trimmings.