If I had to write a personal ad, it might look something like this:
Young-ish, attractive (enough) female seeks tall, broad-shouldered, thin, dark-haired male to provide intellectual companionship, enough financial security so that she can keep writing and raising her kids in waking hours, assurance that he will check any weird night noises and squash cockroaches found within a one-mile radius, and physical affection that rivals the last romance novel she raced through. Must love kids, clutter, take-out food, and baseball.
Thank goodness I’m already married! And my hubby fits the bill pretty well.
Well, he’s had to get used to the clutter, which we both make along with some top-notch efforts by our kids. And he’s not crazy about take-out; but then, he’s not crazy about my cooking either. He will squash bugs for me, but he complains that I’m a wuss the whole time.
Very importantly, though, he loves baseball. I know that football has statistically overtaken the ballpark sport as the most-watched in America. But I refuse to believe that linemen slamming into one another repeatedly and knocking people down is the best sport. That, my friends, is baseball.
1. It can be played by average-sized men. When I watch professional football and basketball now, it’s like watching Godzilla vs. King Kong. How did these guys get so big? A regular David would need a sling, a grenade, and a bazooka to go against those Goliaths! By contrast, the average team height of a MLB player is between 6’0” and 6’2”. That’s taller than the average height of 5’9.4”, but not gargantuan.
2. It requires skill for every player on the field. I know that there is some serious strategy involved in football, but I dated a college football player for a while. And the reality is that his entire job was to smack the person in front of him as hard as possible. That’s it. Block and tackle is what half of the team is there to do. In baseball, every player must be able to throw, hit, field, and catch. Moreover, they must strategize, anticipate, and execute plays. A perfectly timed triple play is a thing of beauty – as sculpted as a Michelangelo and as eye-catching as a Van Gogh.
3. It has its own culture. Attend a baseball game and tell me it isn’t flat-out fun to stand in the middle of the 7th inning and sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at the top of your voice with thousands of other fans! This sport has its own song (“Take Me Out”), its own food (hot dogs), its own instrument (organ – okay, shared with hockey), and the best sports parks ever.
4. It is statistically more likely to know who the best teams are. With teams playing 3 games in a series against each other and the World Series determined by the best 4 of 7, you’re much more likely to get an accurate assessment of who’s the best! I like that certainty.
5. It can be seen just about anywhere in America. If you don’t have a major league nearby, there’s sure to be a Triple A, Double A, or Single A team within driving distance. And you can typically get a cheap-priced ticket; maybe not in the best seats, but you can attend a game without having to hock your Beanie Baby collection. So you have no excuse not to attend a baseball game at least once in your life!
6. The build of baseball players is nice. I’m just sayin’.
If my husband precedes me in reaching the hereafter, I don’t know where I’d find another great guy like him! But I might be seen at the ballpark, eyeing the next guy at bat. Or at least watching for a good-looking guy in the stands, eating a dog and sloshing his drink as he sings, “One! Two! Three strikes, You’re out! At the ol’ ball game!”
What activity do you love to share with your honey? What do you think is the best sport or recreational pastime?